27th September 2005

cigs: 4
binges: 0 [savin em up for umreeka]
drinks: 1

hmmm a nice day, thoroughly ruined by Himself, prompting us to conclude we must move out. ASAP. well when back from umreeka. sigh. heres hopinh BB wont get in the way of finishing fast and getting home to pack. gah.

26th September 2005

cigs: 3
binges: 0
drinks: 0

hmmm appears cigs are only problem.
hah who am i kidding.
the gang is broken now, the circle of three is rent. full drama. but its true, the other two leave for port blair this week. and i stay here.
sigh.

on a happier note
the security guard at the next building who violently objected to my parking had thawed to the extent of now saving it for me and not letting other people into my space. but today, as he arrived and was skulking in civvies, proceeded to salaam me.z

24th September 2005

cigs: 1
Binges: 0
Drinks: 0

sigh life returns to boringness. pop into pisspot for sly cig but thats it. wondering hwy madness has not caught me up and tripped me yet, leaving in 4 days, musdt pack, clean up, prepare room to face the floods that will doubtless occur etc etc.

on way to work across tankbund, much beauty. water colour of watered morning glories, bright sunshine, and long row of bullock carts pulled by happiest jauntiest bulls i have ever seen. heads up, rakishly chewing grass out of one side of mouth, i swear one winked at me!

and now i return to wot i like to call Death in Print.

23rd September 2005

Binges: o [in ALL this time!]
Cigs: eh, who's counting anymore?
Drinks: 4 last night

well
its been a crazy few days. many days. trip to vizag incredible. US visa 10yr multiple entry has been gotten - as our respected authors wld say. ron came thru for me with a fabulous picture for the cover of DIP. cant seem to get the blogging flow going, but shall endeavour to being to start again.

13th September 2005

Binges: 0
Cigs: 1
Drinks: 0

Well i nearly died today. for real. have decided therefore to grab ahold of life in both hands and lose the negativity. last night was a good beginning.

driving to work behind bus, at point where railway track crosses road bus stops to go under bridge, traffic backs up. anal me very perticular to keep 6ft distance always minimum if not at traffic light, so kept it. bus moves and entire roof carriage, metal sheet, railings and all, slides off and crashes to the ground one inch from bonnet. while i love my bubbles, even he cldnt have saved me from that, if i had been closer to the bus as one normally is in slow moving traffic, that sheet wld have sliced right thru the car - and me.

suddenly none of the other things that happened seem important.

12th September 2005

Binges: 1 cinnastix.
Cigs: 6 (??)
Drinks: 1

and that is all weekend!

well, dinner plans cancelled cos of mad raining and pits and friday night traffic, was in first gear for an hour and ten min. bosses back today, sigh. got paid! yay! osciallted ad wildly as ever, eventually distracted self with macro and amma's cam. my god had forgotten how difficult it is to focus! my baby spoils me. first the macro meant backbreaking closeness and stillness. so every breath of air wld throw the whole damn thing out of focus. and of course kept swaying in strange positions, so poof again. and manual wind!!!!!!! forgot almost everytime and had to start over, each focus thrice at LEAST. by end was widng automatically, but not sure if was so had to redo anyway. sheh.
however, hopefully, if exposure not too fucked, will get nice shots.
kudos to regular macro users i say!
tomorrow i get 75-300!
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

much clothing was bought/received/worn/ new black pants, sexy lil black top, alll new kurtas from tailr wit som spurts of sheer brilliance, actually look thin!!! ok ok not thin, but not fat!
yay!

saw iqbal last night, fantastic film, proving it is pos to make film about cricekt and handicapped people without ending up with lagaan or black.
:D

had hilarious moment wih amma, sat night with her playing mrs. bennet.
me: so sachin sez he'll come see me at santa cruz airport at 6am.
ma: what! really?
me: come on! you'd do it, i'd do it
ma: yes but your generation...
me: well he's not really my generation you know, he's 30 something
ma: what! FABULOUS! he's not married right, works for ----- right? good good. im so worried you dont know any eligible men you know....
me: *cracks up*
ma: what?

later...
me: yes so this new friend ive made says ------
ma: really? who is this friend?
me: oh this blogfriend works in ------
ma: oh! are you going to meet him when you're there?
me: uh...dunno maybe.
ma: well he is single right? seems to have a good job and similar interests. is he within 5 years older than you?
me: yes...
ma: oh lovely
me: you want to come meet him too?
ma: *cracks up*
me: *falls off bed laughing*

ah my mum.
thank you intelligent designer/fate/god-type-entity/blind watchmaker for her.

beautiful weather, so beautiful, excruciatingly slow auto on tankbund did not create urgo to bop driver on head with backpack, jus sat back and exulted in glory of hyd monsoon, these are the days that make me love it.

office locked on arival *rolls eyes* spent 20 min watching most adorable kittens in hot guy's compound, just died. fuzzy as hell lookin like cute-wild-cat pics, and playing with each other madly. men who feeds them, oin each appearance, was set upon with mew of delight and tripped up, one tried to chase its own tail and kept orlling over and over to its own surprise each time.

im going to have a good day
:)

9th September 2005

Binges: pasta dindin on the 7th
Cigs: 3 on the 7th
Drinks: 3 on the 7th

Himself turns 59 today, one more to the big six oh. dinner apparently. wonder where. good lord i do loathe female hormones, they make one feel so dreadful. as if i didnt have mood swings enough to begin with! the girls came to dinner on the 7th, Himself was out to business sumfink, so we had a good time. candles and all. much fun. wish we coudl do more often.
have realised fatal flaw in be happy to live at home plan, life goes back to chaoitc commuting, something that does not appeal. no cat, no theatre. no hope at theatre, unless willing to get home at 10pm. not bad thing really, except for half our commute by public tranport that will precede. alos more of the pretend listening might be too much to handle.

am constantly amazed at amma's ability to have a discussion and then completely forget its existence. cannot understand how, after several breakfast conversations - that being time of day of most alertness for her - she still cannot remember planned trips. give up. really do. cannot handle the tuning out anymore. cannot understand why fail to even try and scratch surface, being daughter and all you'd think they wld. v happy to accept chirpy burbly front and not have to bother selves with finding out if really happy or not. denial can go too far.
must take lessons in weeping on phone - seems to work to get attention. slicing arm however isnt even noticed - not that thats a bad thing.

work calls.

5th September 2005

Binges: o [actually angelic goodness even]
Cigs: 1
Drinks: 0

stupid boy revealed wasnt easy to not have me in life and still isnt. without drama. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

long talk with arjun led to slight epiphany, want to do things, will do them, bugger the plan i made when was 14! so shall work towards ackpacking in strange places, like caribbean and so on. will live at home sans cat, from talk this morin Himself seems to want to get me car which, of course, isnt against principles heheh. then will stay home and reap benefits and save lots of money.

no books, only telepfoto lens. lessee if all pans out.

4th Spetember 2005

Binges: 1 [maggi - twill be my undoing]
Cigs: 0 [yippeeeeeeeeeeeeee]
Drinks: 0 [see, im NOT an alcoholic!]

most uneventful day. woke up happy as hell, had long discussion on unacceptable behaviour of certain person, have concluded on basis of extensive research that was not overreacting. much tv. caught end of strange movie with aishwaria rai and abhishek bhacchan, much intrigued and now wish to see whole thing. alos saw rules pyar ka superhit funda toggled with murder - most bizarre. wanting hot milind soman type guy. batman forever - much hotness, but now miss adit. sheh. pathetic! regaled charmaine wit story of kasewa, left undisturbed, nice feeling. finally saw uptown girls with brittany murphy and dakota fanny, who actually managed to look likeable for like 5 seconds. wants hot gutiar playing cool rocker dude john mayer type guy.
sheh
shld stop watching tv!
saw v cute guy this morning! in a pondicherry registration car so probably doesnt live her. madness at entrance to office lane, me turning in right, he turning in left, doc turning out left, followed by ambulance. laughed at absurdity of traffic in lane and caught his eye to say hang on sec sorry must go first since am blocking other traffic, was rewarded by smaile back and him standing at gate watching me reverse out of stick spot to park.
very man-focussed today apparently.

3rd September 2005

Binges - 0
Cigs - manymanymany
Drinks - a quarter of Imperial Blue

ahhhhhhh what a day. think had first hangover of life. very strange. much sleepiness. ate onion rava dosai at work, missed mommy. work was horrible. soooooo sleepy, and book drivig me nuts. urk.

home to growly appa...sigh just cldnt win. saw kaal phaps worst film in history of life, vivek oberoi SUCKS take back everythng good ever said about him, twas all ramu not him in company.

on bright side last ngiht at iras, absolutely brilliant fun, muhc laughets about roposed CV for ajay shld we move there, buy an island and grow poppies cld say 2001-2005 drug lord, and then when we have a tour boat where he wld sing for the tourists intermittenylu vomiting into bucket, cls be 2005-2007 sick boat singer. and so on. trul one of the best times. also the last.
sigh

in other news have made decision to drink full quarter of imperial blue not more not less always cos morning after feeling is fabulous. hehehe. and now to sally forth adn clean room. eep!

2nd September 2005

Binges: 0 (yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay for me)
Cigs: er....see yesterday
Drinks: 4

Seem to have quite the alcoholic lifestyle! much madness. heavens opened, quite literally, took 40 min to do 2km, cld have wlaked it faster. drove mah lil baby boy thru water higher than the undercarriage and he came through for me, without a hitch. still recovering from THAT experience. needing breakfast. sigh. back at work on saturday morning after night in pub with the dancing and staying there till politely ecivted. best friend moving to port blair for 3 years. while gives me great vacation plans will miss her dreffly, really dont know how to find another focus to sad and pthetic life. will miss her son too, the cutest kid in creation.
have already made plans to visit in decmber, leave permitting. boss going to think me crazy with the mad leave taking.

meeting with spec sheet maker today, hope h'es on time, once leaves can go get food.

coofffeeeeeeeeeeee
still 20 min to go.

stuck in traffic and leaning over wriggling about trying to take shots of rain one-handed. aam junta took trouble to stand in water and direct traffic, cos the cops were, of course, too busy, wanted to tkae fotos. was stopped at point before deep water and told madam ill advise you not to go theres a lot of jam and water. at the time syntactic ambiguities escaped me. pulled over by lake in mornig to capture haze from humidity, perishing hot day its going to be, without sun. *shudder*

must manage to go to parlour and pamper self today. and must remember to do ssential shopping tomorrow.

1st September 2005

Binges: 1 (pizza and suchlike till was at pop-point)
Cigs: numerous, lost count, can only say full pack is now almost empty
Drinks: 2 (such restraint)
Song stuck in head: Runaway Train - Soul Asylum

my first payday, so naturally, much joy was felt. was also phenomenally unproductive day, morning spent chatting. hoping dont get dooced. flats as elusive as ever. am considering opportuning spanish girl to let me live with her, imagine conversation something like this:
Me: maria, i know this a STRANGE request, but i have this problem [insert bit essplanin job life cat problem etc] so, i know you dont know me at all but can we TRY and live together? you'll save money i promise, and im a great person to live with, and you can kick me out whenever you want. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeese? *bambi eyes*
maria: *shriek* *runs away to call police*

sigh

bought aformentioned pizza dinner for friendses, all ate till pop-point. ditched by supposed best friend - have now come to expect only that and instead of being left bereft had made other plans already and was able to thumb nose at her. must write/talk to her and lay out to her how this relationship looks form my side, crying at departure and saying ive got used to having you around the house dont really constiture friendship.
then again, why bother?

talked to darius out of sheer boredom and desperate waiting for coffee, whch was TWENTY minutes late. began to resemble garfield early morning. not pretty sight.

mad americans, so muhc for civilization and christian souls and the efficiency of disaster management abroad, think we did muhc better wit mumbai flood and no rape and shooting random people. horror story related by sister of rapes in full stadium where people gathered for relief. must begin reading newspaper. as part of new improved lifestly me. maybe kickboxing class with friend. hmmmm possiblities emerge.

plans for tonight (since post morning after) include alcohol and good friends who are leaving for ever. might cry. might not.

the garbage trucks are back, had to drive behind one who refuse to move for long while. have sinking feeling am confirmed hyderabadi driver as now second nature to zip between cars and overtake from left and other such slimy activities.

it being 7 min past work time, orf i go.

Edit: yesterday's garfield is the story of my life.

And so it begins - Again

31st August 2005

Binges 1 (Garlic breadsticks)
Cigs 6
Drinks 2

How lovely to start a blog on the last day of a month. heheheh. welcome to my wannabe bridget. im fat, i smoke, im manhunting, im paranoid and insecure, and i dont see why i cant get colin firth!
Nothing very exciting happened. Suzy was terrible on Rockstar and Jordis just fucking blew me away with Imagine. Chewed off nails, again. Opened account. Didn't do much work. hmmmm maybe boss coming back wont be such a terrible thing. not as hot as hugh grant, she's a woman actually, but i DO seem to do SOME work when she's around! The garbage truck escort seems to be thinning, i wonder if that means i'm smelly enough myself now. saw flat, lovely kicthen, DRIPPING ornate goulti middleclass woodwork, but sooooooooooooo expensive. dont have a flatmate anyway.
randomly dropped by a friend's which is why the 6 cigs were smoked, and the 2 drinks were drunk, where we had rambly comversations about breast sizes, the relative sexual attractiveness of various parts of the male and female anatomy, where is a good palce to tkae photogrpahs on out pisspot campus and so on.
much madnes over forthcoming trip and tickets and organisation, to LAX or JFK, to shuttle or wait in sahar airport for 6 hours, hamlet had NOTHING on my life. so Himself, after a leetle tipple and a LOT of pompous belief in self, decides his precious little chickabiddy cant be allowed to change terminals in her own country, because she will be wieghed down by luggage [which i plan to shove off on THEM] and because of her innate fragility by virtue of not possessing a penis, will be harrassed or cheated or takena dvantage of were she to tlak one step out of the hallowed bounds of Himself's protection.
pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.
anyway, having spent a hour on the internet and NOT working, i must go do some work.