31st march 2006

*ominous music* tis the end of the financial year and MinCat must go the the BANK!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

MinCat must also organise bday event for boy number 4, on behalf of his girlfriend. sigh. BUT! the good news is, she is going on a BIKETRIP! 5 days, hyd-blore-kodaikanal-blore-hyd. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

30th march 2006

cigs: 2 drags
drinks: 0
binges: vanilla ikeem again
reading: INCA - the gold of cuzco - a b daniel. under the tuscan sun proved too much. i just cldnt stand it anymore so chucked it. nice recipes though. lol. and made me want to live in mediterranean countryside. id pick asturias or galicia though, not tuscany.

good news of the day, crazy batik pants fit! YAY!

in other news hsp is bieng annoying by not providing registraitonj info for bloody cervantes exam! gah! french class has put spokoe in nice trip cos bloody final exams are tiull 11th and thusly will hafta fly to dilli on 11th night. which dont wnat to do. so am trying to persuade gay french prof [gfp] to lemme take th eoral on the 10th and leave 1`0th night by plane and het one mad ngiht wiht iwg and superspin :D but well. will hafta see.

29th march 2006

cigs: 0
Drinks: 0
Binges: 0
Reading: under the tuscan sun - disappointing so far

gai sepnt the night and wldnt let me sleep! bloody a/c not working. lil boy called from goa awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. gets more adorable each day. i want to got o goa! argh! pout! sniff! grumble! crib! rant! rave! gah! meh! sheh! right.

booklist: confessions of an economic hitman [deeply disturbing and depressing book for naive lil ol moi] - john perkins, zorro - isabel allende, the shadow of the wind - carlos ruiz something, funny travel book about camino de santiago wiht a donkey - tim soemthing, the magician's guild [black magician trilogy], another book i cant remember, is that it? but thats terrible! im sure there were more! eep! its been two weeks! *hyperventilates* ok note to self write name of book reading eacvh post.

28th april 2006

cigs:0
drinks: 0 [thank GOD *shudder*]
binges: ikeem and fruit salad for dinner

sunday, whats that? all the madness of acceptance froms and fedexes and hdfc bank drafts to hope to possibly get an appointment for a visa interview before the 15th of september....sigh i foresee some madness. still losing weight. yippeee. mumbai here i come. dilli here i come. study study study. keep the lanuagges separate. soemtimes at 7am when i havent slept all nght torn between fucking hot bedroom and incredibly wound up head its hard to keep em separate. what does one say in a unsolicited email to a stranger who might eb teaching you in 5 months? damn in new york on the 5th and 6th of august, CURSES!!!! She sez they play all the time and esp in NYC and also tusly are cheap. She better be right. Things might be looking up for all of us, She's getting some highly appreciatve responses, and well meself we know. love and romance said my horrorscope for yesterday, HAH shall be grateful for less of that nonsense and more of the nurturing relships that can take wiht me to phroen. whirlwind is the prediction of the day. hmmmm wldnt mind, the lassitude gets a bit much these days. inertia thy name is MinCat. room must be cleaned, nivel superior attained, notes and the like sorted and clothes picked for trip next weekend. but still i sit in front of the comp and idly await someone saying "hi!" maybe i shld get a TV and no itnernet in NYC.

the morning after

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *lurch style groan* my head. 4 hours of sleep and my third hangover of life. serves me right for mixing white wine whiskey and vodka. dont even ask me how many drinks i had, i lost count after 10 and that was still in the whiskey. but. fun was had. every scrap of food in house was eaten. people went home at 5am. after black coffee and a last cig in the garden. *sigh* i shld do this more often.

Boys are Stupid

Throw rocks at them. and don't ever ever get dressed up for them.

23rd MArch 2006

ello
anyone been missing me?
well alright ill give you a while longer then.

21st march 2006

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

i got into nyu ma latin american studies full scholarship.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

*FANFARE*

this is it.

100.

"wow." "whoda thought id get this far" "id like to thank claustophobic xanga..." "i lost the job but i kept the blog." yeah yeah all the usual drivel. right. what i would like to do is shamelessly copy surly and request that all ye kind people who see this post leave me a note. yes that means you too lurkers. yes even you at the back. names/ids/etc will be appreicated, but i dont really mind if all you do is leave summat that goes "anonymous says: "

ta in advance

15th MArch 2006

Cigs: 0
Drinks: 0
Binges: 0

am considering downing that bottle of vodka in my cupboard. cleaned out closet. hahaha. the irony. first clothing target attained. yesssssss. just in time for the weather too.

books books books:
going postal - pratchett, peter pan - j. m. barrie, my hero - tom holt [absolutely brilliant]

had the nadaswaram dude popping by TWICE the bastard, but Hisself kindly paid him off so i cld fall back to sleep. appearances in downstairs area so rare that Ancestor actually inquired if i was in the house or ill. we kept missing each other, me sleeping at her breffus and she at mine and so on and so forth.

it is yellow flower weather.

13th March 2006

Cigs: 0
Drinks: 0
Binges: croissants

wrote a song in head today, for fleeting 60 seconds was creative person. evaporated promplty of course, small wonder considering cant write lyrics OR music! but for one tantalising minute there, i was lost in chords and notes and words that that came from the eldritch evening and i was wafted up and away from the fights and the hurting and the control and tears and the choking and the frantic scrabbling of a tiny rodent in its desperate attempt to escape.

a friend of mine took a series of photos for a project once, and one of them was called my familiar escapes. it was such a beautiful picture, it caught the idea so well and it was perfectly framed. and it looked like a picutre window into a Maligree's Wonderful Garden. and each morning i am seized with a stronger urge to find my Maligree's Wonderful Garden and dive into it and pull it after me.

Achronophilia

execrable timing. the one constant in my life. always too early, always too late. always getting the timing wrong.

is it ok to cry in a shrink's office?

one of my best friends is probably moving here, right about when i move back to delhi, which is where she has been the past 2 years. cant help but laugh helplessly.

edit: the books, ive been forgetting them. thud - pratchett, squire - tamora pierce, the cat who saw red - lilian jackson braun, random shite by julie garwood, lioness rampant - tamora pierce, inca: the puma's shadow - a b daniel.

11th march 2006

cigs: 4
drinks: 1
binges: 0

ohshutup IWG.

ow my head. woke up thismorning with a skewer going through my left eye-socket and coming out simultaneously from my left temple and the top of the left side of my head. cldnt see straight. least now i can. my IWG is gone. the bathroom counter is empty and i slept on the bed last night. noone's sitting in the chair in the verandah. *sniffle*

twas a lovely week. apart from our fabulous sleuthing, we did nothing and it was such fun. ima hafta find a new ipod DJ for the car. loads of utterly pointless photographs, 4 spectacular sunsets on *our* jetty....dammit what am i even tryig to say here. nvm

in other news, its official, your very own MinCat is in love. again. hold on to your wigs and car keys, here comes boy number 4. gah.

Number 96 and she's got block

Cigs: 2
Drinks: 0
Binges: erm...cheese sanwiches?

well i cant really detail the past 2 days, after IWG and her fabulous rendtition of it. but i have writer's block. i haven't anything to say, even babbling about my day fails me. so ima cheat and leave a story i wrote last year. some of you migthve read it, well then you may skip :) i apologise to people who dont understand the hindi. there isnt a lot.



I sit in the car. Waiting. Watching. The wipers squeal their way across the windscreen, and their uneven rhythm resonates in my head. *pcheeek pchuk* *pcheeek pchuk* *pcheeek pchuk*…
The shapes of people and vehicles are delicious splashes of colour that provide such an effective foil to the crystal haze of rain.

If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true; because I’ve been in love before, and I know that love is more than just holding hands...

The Beatles. Who couldn’t love them? Well, her for one. But then I suppose life can’t be perfect, or it wouldn’t be any fun, would it? “If I had it all, I’d fuck it up.” The sixty-four million dollar question is, do I have it all?

A figure hurries up to my window and taps on it, urgently. It’s her. She came. I was terrified that after last night, she wouldn’t, that she’d refuse to face me and what happened. I slide back the lock and lean over to let her in. She enters in a rush of sparkling raindrops and carries the smell of rainbows. Well, alright, I’m exaggerating. But she did bring the rain with her, in the rhinestones dangling from the tips of her hair, the diamonds gliding over her skin.

-- Hey.
-- Hey.

We sit in an almost uncomfortable silence.

-- You got a light? She tosses back her hair, curling damply around her face and pulls out one of her beloved menthols. She never carries a light. I’m surprised she actually has cigarettes.

-- Uh…I fumble around but I can’t seem to find one. I reach over and open the glove compartment.

-- I really should have gotten one of those lighter thingies… I could even hook up my Discman then…

-- Yeah, she says, rummaging in her bottomless jhola.

-- Got it!

I let out a whoop of victory when I finally find a tiny box of matches under the passenger seat. I take the cigarette from her and light it, because it’s what I do. She laughs and cups the match for me. We seem to have established some camaraderie.

-- So, where are we going? She pulls on that stick of paper like it’s her lifeline.

-- Nowhere really. I thought maybe we could just sit here and talk. Well, I thought we could sit in the park and talk, but in this rain I think the car really is a better idea.

-- Yeah I see your point. She holds it out to me, even though she knows I quit. And I take it, even though I know I failed her test.

*pcheeek pchuk* *pcheeek pchuk* *pcheeek pchuk*…


-- You know what? Let’s go somewhere. This is silly. I mean we shouldn’t sit here and listen to your bloody broken wipers!
-- Alright. But where?
-- How about where we went yesterday?

Reaching over to the ignition I freeze. I don’t dare look at her. The air goes whooshing out. There are fifteen oceans colliding in the vacuum, and all I can hear is roaring water. Infinitesimally the air returns, bringing with it the bare minimum of courage I need to look at her.

-- What? Come on! So we got a little drunk there, I’m sure they won’t mind having us back!
-- Yeah…yeah… of course…

I start the car, and the music comes on.

Spend all your time waiting, for that second chance, for a break that will make it okay…

I don’t know how to broach the subject. I’m nervous. I am actually nervous, and around her. I reach for the cigarette to give me some Dutch courage, but she throws it out of the window. I have to concentrate, it’s raining, visibility is low, and God knows I’m wound up, so I need to concentrate on driving. Ten o’clock and two o’clock. I grip the wheel like it can save me, and show me how to ask.

-- So… how’re you holding up? After last night I mean. Hungover?
-- Um… no…not really…no….you?-- No no … I barely drank at all …ha ha. I laugh self-deprecatingly. I was driving, remember?
-- Oh yeah…

We trail off into inarticulate silence. The damn question just sits there, choking us both. Which of us will have the strength to ask it?

-- We’re here.

I put the car in neutral, yank up the handbrake and slither out to allow the waiting valet parking attendant to take over. She gets out and comes around and we walk back into the pub we were at last night. I take a deep breath and steel myself for it.

The doorman wishes us good evening, and the DJ waves at her, they became thick friends yesterday. I just walk behind her, smiling mechanically, and wondering how no one notices. The music throbs harder and harder, and the lights are dim. Her blue jeans become the blue wraparound she was wearing last night, and we are sitting at the same table. She orders her fourth drink.

-- Are you sure about this? I mean we gotta get home and well do you want to show up drunk?
-- Oh shush, she says. I can hold my liquor, and you know it! Oh I LOVE this song! She squeals.

Well I hope that I don't fall in love with you; cos falling in love just makes me blue; well the music plays, and you display your heart for me to see; I had a beer, and now I hear you calling out for me; and I hope that I don't fall in love with you...

-- Let’s drink to the little shit, and believe me when I say little. She raises her glass in a drunken toast, and peers at me. You’re not drinking! You have to drink a toast! It’s bad luck otherwise!Reluctantly I raise my glass.

I can see that you are lonesome just like me, and it being late you'd like some company; well I turn around to look at you, and you look back at me, the guy you're with he's up and split, the chair next to you is free; And I hope that you don't fall in love with me …

-- What shall we drink to today? She smiles at me across her Bloody Mary.
-- Um… how about… new avenues?
-- What?
-- Oh I mean… you know… just new stuff, doing new things…I trail off under her quizzical gaze. Fuckfuckfuck…how do I save this one? But she smiles and says, yeah, that’s a good thing to drink to today, and raises her glass.

Does this mean I can ask it?

-- We really should go now you know. They’ll be waiting for us.
-- Yeah ok. She giggles. I musta drunk too much.
-- Nah, you’ll be fine. I’m here no?I’m rewarded by a beam the diameter of the equator as she throws her arm around my neck and settles into me.
-- You’re too short for me. This amuses her no end, and she fails to see all the other things wrong with me. I don’t know if it’s a good thing that she doesn’t see them, and I wonder if I should point them out. But she feels so good against my side, and I shelve those doubts for now.

We pull in and I park.

-- Ok, I have to go and meet them, we don’t need you for a bit, will you come by later?
-- Ya..I’m not sure if it is a good idea to just leave her, but I have very little choice. So I go.

-- It’s a good thing you called to check on me last night, no? She says as we wait for the valet parking attendant to bring my car.
-- Yeah…
-- I mean, who would have made me lemon tea, and kept it all quiet from the others, there’s no way I could have covered by myself!
-- My pleasure babe, anytime you want.
-- What if it had been someone else? The state I was in… she shudders.

My little castle in the air is coming apart now; the first piece of mortar has fallen out.

-- What do you mean?
-- You know… Thank God you were there to take care of me.

She has given me the opening for the question. It’s now or never, I must ask her.
-- Sweetie, exactly how much of last night do you remember?
-- Well, not much after we left here, those DJ guys were sweet, na? Imagine they remember me! [What do I say? Do I tell you it’s because you flashed them on your way out?] And then we left na? And when we got there and you went off to meet them, then I threw up and by then you called and then you came even though I asked you not to…that’s so sweet of you na… bas and then you talked to me and listened to my nonsense and made me lemon tea and helped me drink it and put me to bed. Isn’t that it?

What do I tell you? That no, that’s not how it happened? That lemon tea was the beginning, that I held you when you cried and I promised to make it better; that I told you you’d never hurt again – I would make damn sure? That you were grateful, so grateful, and you clung to me and told me just how much you loved me, and said you’d show me? And that you did?

Now it's closing time, the music's fading out; last call for drinks I'll have another stout; well I turn around to look at you, you're nowhere to be found, I search the place for your lost face, guess I'll have another round; And I think that I just fell in love with you…

-- Yeah, that’s it. I turn to the valet so she won't see my face.
-- Madam, aapki gaadi.

7th March 2006

Cigs: 1
Drinks: 0
Binges: cheese sandwiches.

well the sailing club again...ahhh so luffly. truly fabulous weather. visit to second hand book shop resulted in mad purchases:

1. The Course of Mexican History [had to capitalise]
2. Kurt Vonnegut - Cat's cradle
3. Kurt Vonnegut - God bless you mr rosewater
4. Kurt Vonnegut - jailbird
5. Somerset Maugham - the narrow corner
6. maya angelou - i know why the caged bird sings
7. tom holt - hy hero
8. stephen d sullivan - the dragon isles
9. j m barrie - peter pan
10. the chicanos: mexican american voices
11. f stonil jose - dusk
12. zia jaffrey - the inivisibles: a tale of the eunuchs of india
13. gary jennings - aztec autumn
14. a b daniel - the puma's shadow
15. goscinny et uderzo - la serpe d'or
16. tamora pierce - lioness rampant

hmmmm good deal even! :D

5th March 2005

Cigs: 0
Drinks: 0
Binges: 0

today was puppyhunt day. drove madly all over looking for puppies it all began as a ride to chamrinar to see the old city and maybe do a lil shopping. and on the way the puppies we were looking for in hte morning suddenly appeared. so Herself executed a niffy U-turn, thumbed her nose at a bus and we ran off to the watermelon-seller to ask him if he was lookin after the puppies. which he was. stoically we set off again on the road to charminar, with IWG in the backseat going PUPPY! every 30 seconds or so. she has puppy radar it seems. we stopped again at a huge rubbish heap, after another superb U-turn and found some more. which wldnt let us approach. so we pootled off to the bakery nearby and bought some buscuits and bread to tempt them with. a kind olg gent poppee out of his house to tell IWG, no no its a dangerous dog, referring to the tiny brown scrap that was trying to stand on its head and wag its tail from a safe distance. finally convinved that we wanted to vaccinate and adopt em, he tottered back into his house shaking his head and muttering summat about mad women ;) these puppies were too wary of human and refused to be enticed. giving up we set off again for charminar, an hour late. Herself then mentioned her office was full of puppies, we could go there another day. IWG, a goddess with a mission then said no no lets go now! so we did. only to find that last wekk all the puppied were rounded up and relocated. after long panty walk and some bird sightings we hopped in the car and turned ourselves homeward. only to be brought up shot by fat adorable puppies. that were both boys so Herself said no no only 1. we picked which one only to find the fat well-fed mum and a couple of others in a neighbouring house. sadly we returned the puppy and IGW turned her radar off for the rest of the ride hom, thank god.

then i made pasta and we et it.

4th March 2006

Cigs: 17?
Drinks: 6, but over 2 nights. and 3 were bailey's shots.
Binges: french fries! oh the death of me

well...falling asleep at liquids, wishing earnestly for moron to shield us from truly creepy men who STARED like no tomorrow, humongous thunderstorm beauitful to watch thru glass walls, horrendous traffic jam involving standing STILL for 20 min with clock ticking to pickup time, mad route getting us there in time, joyous arrival of IWG, up till 2 tlaking, french and aerobics blown off, i pod disaster painfully sorted out and partially salvaged while she patiently read in verandah. the evning...i wihs i cld post the photgrpah of the divine sunset, or a 4D rep of it...ok here's the highlights

sitting on jetty at sailing club counting people we have kissed we made contact with one of Mr. Pratchett's particles of inspiration.
"I'm like a bat, ill only fly at night, i dont know where my soul is, i cant stand the light, im like a bat, i hang from the trees, i do that just because, i like to see my knees."

later, at easy rider, such a relief to have NON creepy men around, fab music, great company. one cute guy, leaves, comes back in leans over to char and mumbles something, to which she looked startled and said "socially". clarification showed that he said: you shld wear your hair open. to which she said so shld you, cos of his ponytail. after his departure his friends at the next table wanted to knwo wot he said, and we told them, to our infinte regret he didnt come back in to be ragged by them so we were deprived of some ennertainment. she does manage to attract them!

and as a grand finale, profound thought of the day: to a man in heat, everything is hot.

g'night ya'll

3rd March 2006

Cigs: 0
Drinks: 0
Binges: 0

damn im getting boring.

well my beloved darling invincible warrior goddess is comin to staaaaay! todaaaaaaay! and not, as i mistakenly thought by misreading the itenarararay [its like bananananananana dunno when to stop,] yesterday. but that leaves me wiht an aextra day to consider doing thethings i should be dong. but am too crampy to drive. was too crampy for aerobics whihc SUCKS>

finally reading book. the last one i read was freakonomics in JANUARY! gah. *ashamed* reading lolita in teheran. no, really. sometimes it helps to read in a new place altogether :D

um....life's been distressingly uneventful, least im not feeling particularly logorrhoeaic. ooo i love it FOUR vowels in a ROW!

[wait i must load the bloody keyboard. think i can unload the german one too, since german is out of my life now. *sob*] j'ai eu ma prémière class de français aujourd'hui. y no ha estado muy mal. sigh. i give up

here is list friend made me make about 10 things i want in a lover. *rolls eyes*

1. he's willing to try anything in bed
2. he loves to cuddle and doesnt mind PDA
3. he loves to eat, so i can cook
4. he plays paino or guitar or both and more
5. he isnt threatened by who i am
6. he is able to decode my typos and refrains from correcting them
7. loves to read and dissect books, but stuff i like not russian realism or european philosophers and all that
8. he's sociable, friendly and tolerant so he can handle the wide variety of mad people and situations i will inflict on him
9. he loves cats
10. he treats me like a princess, cos he knows im worth it.

*cringe* and im putting that up in public. i guess we know WHY im single huh.

Meet my new toy

Ladies and germs, i proudly present to you,

iPodito
[pronounced EE-pod-eeto]

his best friend Mr. Headphones

his Favourite shirt [notice the taste, goes for the classic white]

his hep custom-made car

his cosy little house