21st July 2006

apparently i can post but not read. or respond to comments. cos i cant access the page to post em! strangeness.

Ms. Anthrope [who has a dog called julius?], yes they DO dont they? there should be a law, really, pale flabby wispily hairy man breats...YUCK!

found theme song of the year. no no really i did. for real this time.

Forget about the reasons
And treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
Our emotions can be kept at bay
Forget about being guilty
We are innocent instead
For soon we will find all our lives swept away.

:)
gonna hear em in concert so maybe they'll play it!

18th july 2006

its chica's birthday. heh. im calling him. funny. it might turn out all we needed was a break and now we can be friends again. who knows.

sadly last week was ill and thusly party was cancelled. invitation to come and cheer me up extended to select special friends resulted in some disaster. extreme gratitude to people who did show [i loves you!].

there are some five posts i started to write. about feelings and thoughts and analysis and people and events and trends and expectation and god knows what. but who am i writing for anyway? me? in honesty no, im wirting for the sympathy i will garner for my sorry tales, for the roundabout way i can tell people what i feel withouit having to confront them. and i cant lie to meself like so!

i bought orange shoes today. and i almost bought a strappy highly flattering pink dress. only i realised something disturbing. for a why wear a bra advocate i dont know that im ok with no bra and 2 triangles of thin fabric in public.

Fat

finally they see it my way. excerpts.


[I]

Is weight the new race?
Do we demonise the obese purely on health grounds or is it a gutreaction based on prejudice?Rachel Cooke
Sunday July 09 2006
The Observer

[II]

I cannot remember a time when I was not fat, though photographs prove that there was indeed such a time. I am always complimented on my “sense of humour”, I am always “one of the guys”, I am the “sweet” girl. I have also been the butt of innumerable jokes; I don’t even notice the little children who walk past me on the road and yell moti (fat girl) anymore. I cannot have a serious conversation with my family because it will always come around to the highly contentious subject of my weight. I have developed an ‘attitude’ to combat the ‘niceness’ of other people, an attitude that often creates problems because it is too outspoken and too defiant. I remember being hurt in school, I remember being a ‘sport’ in college, and I remember always hiding the hurt behind the jokes: because if I made the joke first then someone else couldn’t be laughing at me. But the one thing I never felt was anger at the ease with which the world was allowed to comment on my body, which gave complete strangers the right to ask inappropriate questions and make outrageous remarks about something as intensely personal as my daily routine. No blame attaches to the person who believes it is their inalienable right to intrude. There was always a hint of shame, after all I was the one who was fat and they were just being nice or funny – it’s not personal.

That particular justification for continuous social comment on women’s bodies is possibly the most offensive one possible, because it dissociates the body from identity and selfhood, which is impossible to achieve. The woman’s body being public property to look at or not, to be commented on or not, to be touched or not, to be used as a defining characteristic of her self – these are all common phenomena. There is something intrinsically wrong with a system that allows this to happen, and ignoring it does not help. To say that a positive attitude will help is merely to ask a woman to completely ignore the arbitrary intrusion of people into her selfhood – whether it is the boy on a motorbike who whistles as she walks past, or the lady in the shop who gives her weight-loss tips. Not reacting makes you frustrated and angry with yourself, and reacting makes you hypersensitive.

11th July 2006

happy berrrfday tooo me
happy berrrrrfday to She
happy berrfffffdaaaaay She n me
haaapppy berrrffffdaaaaayyy toooooooooo we!

we have chocolate truffle cake [semi-devoured by now] and fresh fruit cake [to be devoured in evernin when tis budday in She-land].

and twenty yewwow woses that my mommy buyed for me. :)

7th July 2006

• i had a dream the other night about a blogger i dont know, occasionally read, and definitely have no interaction with. how scary is that? no there was no sex you dirty people.
• SAJ came over yesterday and then amused me dreadfully by trying tog et out of the car wtih his seatbelt on. *snorts* sorry love, ihaven't anything else to blog about!
• the PooPoos are grwoing madly and going mad. this morning was awakend by positive opera of short sharp barks, leavened by the occasinal snarl.
• does one put fullstops at the end of bulleted sentences or not? i think that the cambridge university press doesnt, but theres some tosh rule about how it depends on whether a bullet is a sentence or not. which apparently means that it wld have to be a sentence wiht all grammatical parts and no shortcuts like leaving out bits which is what one is supppoed to do when one bullets.
• the birds are going mad. and there far too muhc sunshine for july. i object to being blinded by reflected sun at 610am when im brushing my teefs.
• only got 4 more days to be 23. hmmm. is it strange id rather be turning 24 than 21?
• Themselves are really getting me me lately, though it could be the fucking homrones more than just them. cant wait to get out and move to mah cool life in noo yahwk city. oh hush we'll come back here and snigger when the first im homesick and i want my mommmyyyyy post happens ok. till then we smile encouragingly.
• im nowhere near target weight for departure. sigh. and im not really osing weight anymore. AND i simply dont care anymore. what do i do?? this is not good for going away to country of yummy fatty food. course little cousin told me the other day how falafel is health food. in relation to cinnabon im sure it is.
• spent 2 days talking with a new jersey accent cos of aforementioned little cousin and family who were visintg. also climbed a hill wiht a tomb on top and then a gian hill wiht a fort on top on consecutive days. and drove. a lot. want someone to drive me to doc today *whinewhinewhinewhinewhine*
• *whine*

edit: here MinCat's quote of the moment.

Miss Tick sniffed. 'You could say this advice is priceless,' she said. 'Are you listening?'

'Yes,' said Tiffany.

'Good. Now...if you trust in yourself...'

'Yes?'

'...and believe in your dreams...'

'Yes?'

'...and follow your star...'

'Yes?'

'... you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy. Goodbye.'

- The Wee Free Men