Contradictions
benediction, malediction, contradiction, such lovely words, once i figured out how they come apart.
everybody hurts plays on worldspace. funny how many songs supposed to give succour actually make people sad. don't cry being another one.
so what is it exactly about all this. heights of inarticulacy. She is having crazy neurotic trouble with the boy, Themselves are losing it from the stress of counselling both of them. i am losing it. period. Theselves are at the end of tethers and since i am rght here and they can enusre i dont drive off a cliff, have put me on the back burner. when what im crying for is a little front burner thank you.
apart form which, despite the fact that they are often right about many things, and are kind, liberal, wonderful parents who give me everything i want, they seem bent on refusing to listen to me. everything is predecided. every conversation has a pre-plotted course. there's never the possibility that i might actually knwo what im doing. i cant blame them of course, with all the vacillating and flibbertigibbeting i have done in my teensy life, it must be hard indeed to have faith in my abilities, sometimes even i cant manage it.
but i cant quite forgive them for not listening and not paying attention. for not noticing cut arm and treating depression as "oh you're just so self-absorbed, you can't be bothered to do anything but watch tv". i cant quite forgive them for taking sides against me with She. i cant forgive them for putting me on the back burner when i come to them in tears asking for comfort, when they know exactly how fragile my mental state is. for seeking ways to prove my sadness is my own fault rather than ways to soothe me. for telling me they will always comfort me and then not trying.
oh dear this was meant to be about janis joplin's big song and how it's my song because i need to jsut come to terms with me being me and say to the world:
"Oh ho, honey, didn’t I give you nearly everything that I ever had to give ? Oh, you know I did!But each time I tell myself that i, I think I’ve had enough, Well, I’m gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough.I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it,Take another little piece of my heart now, baby! Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have a, have another little piece of my heart now, daddy daddy daddy,You know you got it if it makes you feel good."
leave that for another time.
everybody hurts plays on worldspace. funny how many songs supposed to give succour actually make people sad. don't cry being another one.
so what is it exactly about all this. heights of inarticulacy. She is having crazy neurotic trouble with the boy, Themselves are losing it from the stress of counselling both of them. i am losing it. period. Theselves are at the end of tethers and since i am rght here and they can enusre i dont drive off a cliff, have put me on the back burner. when what im crying for is a little front burner thank you.
apart form which, despite the fact that they are often right about many things, and are kind, liberal, wonderful parents who give me everything i want, they seem bent on refusing to listen to me. everything is predecided. every conversation has a pre-plotted course. there's never the possibility that i might actually knwo what im doing. i cant blame them of course, with all the vacillating and flibbertigibbeting i have done in my teensy life, it must be hard indeed to have faith in my abilities, sometimes even i cant manage it.
but i cant quite forgive them for not listening and not paying attention. for not noticing cut arm and treating depression as "oh you're just so self-absorbed, you can't be bothered to do anything but watch tv". i cant quite forgive them for taking sides against me with She. i cant forgive them for putting me on the back burner when i come to them in tears asking for comfort, when they know exactly how fragile my mental state is. for seeking ways to prove my sadness is my own fault rather than ways to soothe me. for telling me they will always comfort me and then not trying.
oh dear this was meant to be about janis joplin's big song and how it's my song because i need to jsut come to terms with me being me and say to the world:
"Oh ho, honey, didn’t I give you nearly everything that I ever had to give ? Oh, you know I did!But each time I tell myself that i, I think I’ve had enough, Well, I’m gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough.I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it,Take another little piece of my heart now, baby! Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have a, have another little piece of my heart now, daddy daddy daddy,You know you got it if it makes you feel good."
leave that for another time.
posted by MinCat at 5:07 PM
2 Comments:
*big hug
ditto
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